A moment of silence

I apologize for my absence. I needed some time to recollect my thoughts. Although I still don’t have a complete hold on them, I will try my best. [LOL]

Overall, things have been wonderful. I can honestly say, I am almost back to my “complete self”. My life will feel satisfied when I start hitting the gym again, and increase my social interactions.

I have been having difficulty focusing my mind to produce anything concrete. I have so many ideas, goals, tasks, commitments, and responsibilities flooding my mind every minute, it makes it difficult sit down long enough to even type a sentence, before I have the urge to get up and do something else. I am learning to get a grip on this ADD.

Throughout the years, I have learned the skills necessary to overcome the constraints of my illness (ADD). What works is goal setting, prioritization, routine, scheduling, and simplicity. Beyond those basic principles, I think it’s important to also take care of yourself and know when it’s time to take a break and relax. Gift yourself some tender loving care. It speaks volumes when you learn to love yourself.

Is there anybody that wants me to post about something in particular?

Perhaps drop a comment about a particular situation you’re having difficulties with and maybe we can all help each other?

Let’s help each other.

Lets Talk – Therapy

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My Personal Experience with a Therapist.

Therapy. The idea was quite daunting to me; confiding in a complete stranger made my social anxiety meter rage with fear. When things started to spiral out of control (or so I thought), I was desperate to try anything.

It was one of the greatest decisions I ever made.

She has helped me in an abundance of extraordinary ways. She has helped me make connections between my thoughts and reality. She always knows exactly the right questions to ask. She really seeks to understand, and challenges my thought processes. She opens my eyes to new perspectives, and provides me with valuable insights. She has made a significant impact on my life, and I am internally grateful for her guidance and support.

Keep in mind – sometimes finding a therapist, that is right or you, can be a bit of trial and error. You have to find someone you can trust wholeheartedly, and feel comfortable enough to fully open up to and allow yourself to be vulnerable with.

I understand that there may be financial constraints that may hinder your ability to access this type of resource or service (which is a big part of why I created this blog – a project that will hopefully come to light in the next couple of months, so stay tuned), but there is are many organizations that help connect you with “non-profit support services”. Just do a quick google search of the Mental Health Association or Organizations in your location! Hospital websites also provide information about available services that are located in their district. I will also list a few websites at the end of this Post.

Here are a list of common questions I had when I was debating
seeking help from a therapist.


WHY should I seek help from a Therapist?

  • You’re experiencing unexpected mood swings
  • You’re undergoing a big change.
  • You’re having harmful thoughts.
  • You’re withdrawing from things that used to bring you joy.
  • You’re feeling isolated or alone.
  • You’re using a substance to cope with issues in your life.
  • You suspect you might have a serious mental health condition.
  • You feel like you’ve lost control.
  • Your relationships feel strained
  • Your sleeping patterns are off.
  • You just feel like you need to talk to someone

Credit: Huffington Post

WHAT can therapy help me with?

Therapy helps individuals, couples, and families address personal difficulties by allowing you to talk openly and confidentially about concerns and feelings with a trained professional.

Therapy may be useful if:

  • You’re facing situations causing you stress, anxiety and upset.
  • You are experiencing intense or uncomfortable feelings such as anger, sadness, fear, frustration and depression.
  • You are behaving in ways that don’t fit your normal pattern, don’t serve your needs, or are problematic to you or others.
  • You are thinking thoughts that are peculiar, hard to understand, out-of-control or disturbing.
  • You’ve experienced a traumatic event, such as sexual abuse, domestic violence, a serious accident or a criminal injury.
  • You are dealing with a relationship issue or family conflict.
  • You’re going through a difficult life transition, such as the death of a loved one, a life-threatening illness, divorce, separation, or a mid-life crisis.
  • You are challenged by family issues, such as parenting, child-rearing, adolescence, and aging parents.
  • You need help with an addiction such as smoking, alcohol, drugs, sex or gambling.
  • You have an eating disorder.
  • You are facing difficulties with matters of gender identity, sexual orientation, racism and oppression.
  • You wish to explore spiritual issues, questions of meaning or matters of faithCredit: Psychotherapy Ontario

HOW can therapy help me?

  • Understand your mental health condition
  • Define and reach wellness goals
  • Overcome fears or insecurities
  • Cope with stress
  • Make sense of past traumatic experiences
  • Separate your true personality from the moods caused by your condition
  • Identify triggers that may worsen your symptoms
  • Improve relationships with family and friends
  • Establish a stable, dependable routine
  • Develop a plan for coping with crises
  • Understand why things bother you and what you can do about them
  • End destructive habits such as drinking, using drugs, overspending or unhealthy sex

Credit: Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

WHO provides Therapy or Counselling?

Many kinds of mental health specialists may provide talk therapy. Some common professionals include:

  • Psychiatrists (MD)
  • Psychologists (PhD, PsyD, EdD, MS)
  • Social workers (DSW, MSW, LCSW, LICSW, CCSW)
  • Counselors (MA, MS, LMFT, LCPC)
  • Psychiatric nurses (APRN, PMHN).

Your ability to talk honestly and openly with your therapist, set
clear goals and make real progress are the most important things. Think
of your relationship with your therapist as a partnership. The two
of you will work together to help you feel better. You do not need
to feel ashamed or embarrassed about talking openly
and honestly about your feelings and concerns.

Credit: Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

HOW do I get the most of my Therapy?

When you first begin therapy, make a list of the things that are bothering you and the issues you would like help with. Bring it with you to your first appointment. You might include:

  • Issues in your family or other relationships
  • Symptoms like changes in eating or sleeping habits
  • Anger, anxiety, irritability or troubling feelings
  • Thoughts of hurting yourself

Credit: Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance


Additional Resources:

Ontario Society of Psychotherapist : Why choose psychotherapy?

American Psychiatric Association: Psychotherapy

Canadian Mental Health Association: Getting Help

American Psychology Association: Understanding Psychotherapy

Credit: Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance

National Institute of Mental Health: Help for Mental Health

Mental Health America : Find Help

Please Comment and Share Mental Health
Resources available in your Country.

Compulsive Worrying – Coping

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I have a confession, I am a compulsive worrier.
Ever since I can remember, I have always lived my days worrying about pretty much anything and everything.
I would imagine the absolute worst case scenario, conjure up a detailed motion picture movie in my head, and then I’d believe it as if it were currently happening. Negative assumptions would be preceded by a slew of negative feelings, which would be based off this unrealistic reality.
Eventually this thought process became very destructive and started to affect many different aspects of my life, and well-being.


Signs of Symptoms of Panic Attack Disorder:

Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate
Sweating
Trembling or shaking
Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering
Feelings of choking
Chest pain or discomfort
Nausea or abdominal distress
Feeling dizzy, unsteady, light-headed, or faint –
Chills or heat sensations
Paresthesia (numbness or tingling sensations)
Derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization –
(being detached from oneself)
Fear of losing control or “going crazy”
Fear of dying

Signs of Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder:

Restlessness or feeling wound-up or on edge
Being easily fatigued
Difficulty concentrating or having their minds go blank
Irritability
Muscle tension
Difficulty controlling the worry
Sleep problems (difficulty falling or staying asleep or –
restless, unsatisfying sleep)

Signs of Symptoms of Social Anxiety:

Feeling highly anxious about being with other people –
and having a hard time talking to them
Feeling very self-conscious in front of other people and worried about -feeling humiliated, embarrassed, or rejected, or –
fearful of offending others
Being very afraid that other people will judge them
Worrying for days or weeks before an event where other people will be
Staying away from places where there are other people
Having a hard time making friends and keeping friends
Blushing, sweating, or trembling around other people
Feeling nauseous or sick to your stomach when other people are around


I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Unless you are a close friend, or family member, many people have (and will) find this shocking to believe. I became very good at keeping my feelings locked away in the closet. What people observed was a total inaccurate interpretation of how I actually felt. Inside, I felt like my brain was caught up in a storm of constant, repetitive, and racing thoughts, but that didn’t stop me from smiling. It was on fire. Eventually the anxiety led to Major Depression (and the smiling ceased to exist – for a while), which I will discuss another time.

The greatest accomplishment for me was being able to recognize that there was an issue, and that I needed help beyond peer social support, journal writing and self-help books.
There is so much stigma circling around mental illness, when it’s merely no different than any medically diagnosed condition. It should be treated with the same level of priority and importance. Medication, psychotherapy, and support groups are okay. No one should feel judged or embarrassed to seek support. The only way to break the stigma is to talk about it, spread awareness.


Here are some things that have helped me manage my cyclic worry:

Create a list – Identifying the things you are worried about allows you to acknowledge them for what they are (just thoughts), and it allows you to do something about them (or perhaps nothing at all).
Analyze (but don’t over analyze) – Determine whether your thoughts are productive or non-productive. Productive in the sense, can you do something about it now? Non-productive thoughts are typically worse case assumptions, “what if”, that cannot be changed.
Embrace Uncertainty – Accept your limitations, and let go, focusing on the things you do have control over and enjoy.
Bore Yourself Calm – Repeat the negative thoughts in your mind until they lose their importance, resulting in boredom.
Stop the Clock – Worry creates a sense of urgency. Become mindful, and focus on what you observe in the present moment. Practice mediation, deep breathing, music therapy, and/or journal writing.

Ask, “What can I do in this present moment to make my
life more meaningful and pleasant?”

Check out : Rejuvenate your Mind and Body with These Simple Practices
Lastly, Talk About It – I have to say, I am very thankful of the support I have in my life. I have the most amazing family and friends. BUT, sometimes we need professional support, in the form of psychotherapy, or talk therapy through certified therapists, psychologists and/or psychiatrists. Recognizing the need for professional help is key. If you notice your excessive worrying, or anxiety is starting to affect multiple areas of your life (ie. work, personal, relationships) then it’s highly suggested you reach out for additional support.


Helpful Resources

Anxiety and Depression Association of America

Canadian Mental Health Association

Anxiety.Org


Rachel Page ♥

Please comment, provide feedback, like and share – it is greatly appreciated. ♥

No Blog Day

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I have had zero motivation to write a blog today.

I spent the better part of morning tirelessly trying to think of something, anything to write about.

I take comfort in knowing that I am not the only one that struggles with this ordeal.

What gives you guys inspiration?

My blog will be a place where I post material that people can relate to. Material that speaks truth and honesty. A place where we can all learn from each other and gain a deeper understanding, and perhaps new perspectives on life, love, and everything in-between. My vision is to create a space where people feel comfortable and free to discussion their feelings, views and beliefs honestly. A cozy atmosphere where people feel confident and safe to come for guidance and support, a place where we can lean on each other.

I recently turned to Pinterest for some inspiration. It has such great ideas.

Some topics, or personal experiences, that I will (probably) be discussing in the near future will be:

The horrors of online dating
Apps I live by

Nursing Notes
List of things that made me happy this month
Simple Pleasures
Someone I admire
Products I love
How to get through a break up
Unhealthy Relationships
Learning to embrace change
Organization / Productivity
First date Tips
Journey with painting
Stay in date nights
Dating on a budget
Deal Breakers in Relationships
Cancer   
Depression and Anxiety
My Love Language
Story of Compulsive Worrier 

Random thoughts, feelings, and views

Those should keep me occupied for a while.

Rachel Page ♥

A Letter to my Bully(s)

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It has taken me until now to be able to face up to the wrongful ways in which you treated me or acted towards me.

The mental abuse was like knives to my heart that has left deep scars that have only ever partially healed.

No one should have to endure that amount of suffering, for any reason, at any time in their lives.

I can recall countless times that I was humiliated by crude comments, degraded by the spread of false rumours, scrutinized by what I said or didn’t say, and belittled to make me feel less important.

Your cruelty made me bitter, unable to trust anyone, not even myself.

I was left feeling inadequate, empty and alone, and in complete silence.

There were days where I was terrified to go to school, struck with fear of the monsters that would be waiting for me.

I became fearful; I isolated myself from the world and people.

I lost interest of the simple pleasures of life.

I was only a young girl;

I felt helpless, worthless and alone.

I felt persistently sad, and empty. I became tirelessly worried but unable to sleep from the constant worry.

My weight greatly fluctuated between a battle of eating for comfort or feelings sickened with nausea from the overwhelming emotions. I became preoccupied and uncomfortable with my body-image.

I hated myself!

If the constant depressive state wasn’t enough, the anxiety was eating away at my mind and body.

I became highly anxious to be around people. Fear of being judged, rejected, or humiliated.

I would avoid places where my fellow peers would be.

When I did attend school, I would often tremble in fear.

Middle School and High School are supposed to be filled with joyous memories, but unfortunately mine are only of pain and suffering.

I remember the name calling, the shouting, and the hurtful messages written to me on object with permanent marker. I remember the disgraceful flyers (hundreds of them) that were spread around my High School, the disgusting signs and notes left on my locker, and the online mental trauma and empty threats.

I lost total self-esteem, self-confidence; I lost myself and the ability to love myself.

I started to act out, losing respect for my parental rules.

I started on risky journey and experimented with smoking, alcohol and drugs.

I cut myself to feel something, anything.

But with any life experience, good or bad, there are life lessons to be learned.

Because of you,

I gained insight and perspective.

I grew with strength and perseverance.

I vowed to always be kind, respectful, conscientious, empathetic, and soulful.

I learned to love blindly, wholeheartedly, and deeply.

I learned so much about the value of relationships.

I grew.

All because of you.

Thank you.

Today, I love myself.

Most importantly, despite everything, I forgive you.

-Rachel Page ♥

Please comment, provide feedback, like, and share – I truly appreciate it! ♥

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A Letter to my Bully(s)

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It has taken me until now to be able to face up to the wrongful ways in which you treated me or acted towards me.

The mental abuse was like knives to my heart that has left deep scars that have only ever partially healed.

No one should have to endure that amount of suffering, for any reason, at any time in their lives.

I can recall countless times that I was humiliated by crude comments, degraded by the spread of false rumours, scrutinized by what I said or didn’t say, and belittled to make me feel less important.

Your cruelty made me bitter, unable to trust anyone, not even myself.

I was left feeling inadequate, empty and alone, and in complete silence.

There were days where I was terrified to go to school, struck with fear of the monsters that would be waiting for me.

I became fearful; I isolated myself from the world and people.

I lost interest of the simple pleasures of life.

I was only a young girl;

I felt helpless, worthless and alone.

I felt persistently sad, and empty. I became tirelessly worried but unable to sleep from the constant worry.

My weight greatly fluctuated between a battle of eating for comfort or feelings sickened with nausea from the overwhelming emotions. I became preoccupied and uncomfortable with my body-image.

I hated myself!

If the constant depressive state wasn’t enough, the anxiety was eating away at my mind and body.

I became highly anxious to be around people. Fear of being judged, rejected, or humiliated.

I would avoid places where my fellow peers would be.

When I did attend school, I would often tremble in fear.

Middle School and High School are supposed to be filled with joyous memories, but unfortunately mine are only of pain and suffering.

I remember the name calling, the shouting, and the hurtful messages written to me on object with permanent marker. I remember the disgraceful flyers (hundreds of them) that were spread around my High School, the disgusting signs and notes left on my locker, and the online mental trauma and empty threats.

I lost total self-esteem, self-confidence; I lost myself and the ability to love myself.

I started to act out, losing respect for my parental rules.

I started on risky journey and experimented with smoking, alcohol and drugs.

I cut myself to feel something, anything.

But with any life experience, good or bad, there are life lessons to be learned.

Because of you,

I gained insight and perspective.

I grew with strength and perseverance.

I vowed to always be kind, respectful, conscientious, empathetic, and soulful.

I learned to love blindly, wholeheartedly, and deeply.

I learned so much about the value of relationships.

I grew.

All because of you.

Thank you.

Today, I love myself.

Most importantly, despite everything, I forgive you.

-Rachel Page ♥

Please comment, provide feedback, like, and share – I truly appreciate it! ♥

AAEAAQAAAAAAAAP-AAAAJDEyOTg3NjMzLWQxZDItNGUwNy1hMTgwLWFiM2I4OGI2YTIwNQ

Trust – There's a Reason

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“I trust that everything happens for a reason, even if we are not wise enough to see it.” – Oprah Winfrey

While there may be unpleasant situations that happen in life, they are lessons nonetheless. Lessons that are meant to be learnt from, and provide us with the tools to effectively cope with similar situations in the future. They are meant to provide us with wisdom, intuition, perspective, and guidance. We are able to grow physically, psychologically, and spiritually, and become a better ‘version’ of our previous self.

There have been many occasions that I was blind to the reason behind particular positive or negative situations that occurred in my life. For some, I still have not been able to understand why things happened the way they did, but I have faith that one day the intent will be revealed to me.

“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”

Here are some lessons I have learned from the people that have entered my life:

Being cheated on taught me the value of loyalty and honesty.
I have learned self-love and self-worth when I became exhausted trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.
Losing someone taught me to be grateful of life and my loved ones still living.
Change has taught me to just go with the flow.
Fear has taught me to be strong.
Worry has taught me that it is nothing more than fear over the unknown, and something I have little control over.
Relationship endings have taught me to never settle for less than I deserve, and to let go.
Depression has taught me how great happiness feels.
Distance has taught me that no matter where you are in the world, you will always be connected by heart.
Lack of time and availability has taught me to value quality over quantity.
Lost friendships have taught me that not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever (and that it is okay). People change as they grow and sometimes your values, beliefs and rituals may longer align with previous relationships.
I have learned if things are truly meant to be, then they will just be.

Every person and significant event that occurs during your life span truly helps you to become stronger, wiser, kinder, and ultimately happier.

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”  – Marilyn Monroe

-Rachel Page ♥

Please comment, provide feedback, like and share – it is greatly appreciated. ♥
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