Stop Comparisons

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Don’t do it.

You don’t know what their reality consists of. You have no idea what their struggles are.

The worst thing anyone could ever do is make the assumption that someone else is living a ‘perfect, cozy’ life. If you gathered this observation from social media, reality check, people only post the positive moments of their life, or post pictures that are not a true representation of their life.

Don’t be fooled.

Panic Attacks | Herbal Remedies

Safety Disclaimer: please consult
your doctor before incorporating
herbal remedies into daily regimen.

Due to a number of potentially serious drug to drug interactions, it is advised that you consult your physician or psychiatrist before adding herbal medication into your daily regimen.

Some interaction may significantly increase drowiness or result in Serotonin Syndrome when combined with your own psych-medication(s). Please use with extra caution.

You CAN; You WILL

The moment you limit yourself to your true potential, you lose out on all those opportunities that were possible.

There may be obstacles standing in your way, but it doesn’t mean you can’t succeed or achieve what your heart desires.

People do the impossible everyday. What separates them from the rest is the power of their minds. They believe they can so they do. Can’t, should, would, try, could, or I’m going to are not in their vocabulary. I WILL is what circulates in their consciousness. They plan and they do.

You Can and You Will.

Thinking Catastrophe

I just have to post this quote again.

I am in the process of embedding this into my brain.

The over analytical brain that always seems to conjour up the worse possible outcome.

It’s like the brain is attacking itself. Thinking up the most idiotic assumptions.

Why? Because it has nothing better to do than to antagonize you. It’s probably because we all suffer from an overactive imagination. We have hundreds of thousands of thoughts enter our conscious mind, and we allow the positive, pleasant thoughts to easily pass us by and then become hyperfocus on the negative. Ugh! So annoying.

Stop catastrophizing thinking and.. Challange them!

Seriously! Ask your negative thought… “But WHAT IF the opposite (positive) is true?” You managed to start assuming the worst, but WHAT IF we started to assume the best?

Follow me on Instagram: mind_over_mood

Unhealthy | Healthy Relationship

cookie-2333024__340

Some people are blessed to find their soulmate first date, at first sight. Whereas, others may have to undertake the agonizing interview process a bit longer.

As stated in my last blog [Learning from Love], I have had my fair share of learning the “harder” way.

I think one of the worst feelings for me is the feeling that comes with being ‘used’, or taken for granted. Obviously being cheated on left wounds on my heart, but I can say, without a doubt, that that man did loved me, and never used me.

Ironically, I was first oblivious to the thought of being used. Perhaps I was blinded by lust and oxytocin. It wasn’t until after I started to develop on uncomfortable and uneasy feeling that I decided to explore deeper into why I was feeling that particular way.

Hands down, it takes two people in a relationship to put in mutual effort; that is the only way a relationship will prosper. If he (or she) only does things for the relationship when it is convenient for them, or if they only focus on their needs, then there is a singular aspect to that relationship. If they truly care, are interested, and want you in their life, regardless of distance and time, they will find a way – not an excuse. No one should have to be ‘partially’ in anyone’s life. The lack of effort shows just how interested the person is, and just how unimportant you are in their life. You are not a priority. This is especially true if the person is “unable to commit” or avoids the conversation, and continues to see other people.

I would hope a whole bunch of red flags would be going off for you. Listen to that gut feeling.

You deserve to be treated with respect, honesty, loyalty and dignity.

Oddly enough, when someone is being used, they’re typically sacrificing their own needs for someone else in order to fill a void. Let that sink in for a moment.

Please – please – please, respect yourself enough to walk away, especially if you find that your relationship identifies with any of the unhealthy signs below.

You are deserving of so much more. You are enough!


Signs of an unhealthy relationship:

  • Criticism and ridicule

One or both people constantly criticize and put the other person down. Or they ridicule their partner in front of other people, trying to shame or embarrass them.

  • Lack of communication

There is a lack of open, honest, and loving communication between the couple. Conflict communication often devolves into anger and blaming. One partner or the other doesn’t feel secure in expressing feelings or self-doubts.

  • Loss of emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy is the connection a couple has when the trust and communication between them fosters open sharing, vulnerability, and self-disclosure. Each partner feels completely loved, accepted, and worthy. When this is lacking, the relationship deteriorates into an empty, lonely existence for one or both partners.

  • Disengagement

Disengagement happens when one or both partners lose the willingness to invest time, energy, and emotion into the relationship. In these situations, there are generally few arguments, or the arguments are one-sided and met with passiveness from the disengaged person. Disengagement is often a sign the one person is ready to end the relationship.

  • Passive aggressive behavior

Passive aggressive behavior can manifest as non-verbal negativity, resistance, and confusion. It shows up as procrastination, helplessness, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or purposeful failure to handle requested tasks. This is childish behavior used in an attempt to manipulate and control.

  • Inability to forgive

Forgiveness is essential for the health and longevity of a love partnership. If one partner holds a grudge and can’t let go of past hurt or anger, neither partner will feel safe and intimate together. Of course forgiveness requires a sincere apology and consistent behavior change from the other person.

  • Codependent behavior

Codependency is a dysfunctional issue in which one partner enables and supports the negative behaviors or personality of the other. This could be a passive or active support of addiction, mental illness, immaturity, or irresponsibility. The focus is only on one person’s needs, ultimately leaving the other person resentful, angry, and wounded.

  • Substance abuse

Abuse of alcohol or drugs by one or both partners makes it impossible to have an authentic, healthy intimacy. The substance alters one’s behavior and personality, impairing judgement and self-control. As the abuse continues, it pushes the couple farther and farther apart.

  • Verbal abuse

When one partner uses verbal abuse, he or she is trying to shame, control, and manipulate the other. This emotional abuse takes the form of yelling, swearing, using threats, blaming, demeaning, and using biting sarcasm. This abuse damages self-esteem and makes intimacy impossible in the relationship.

  • Physical abuse

Physical abuse is the use of force and violent behavior in a way that injures or endangers someone. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship when one partner is the victim of abuse. This abuse can include hitting, biting, scratching, slapping, kicking, punching, shoving, use of a weapon, or forced sex. Physical abuse often builds gradually, beginning with emotional abuse. A one-time incident could be a warning sign of future abuse. The only solution in these situations is to let go and leave as soon as possible.

  • Disagreement on major values

You want children, but she doesn’t. He wants to buy a new car, but you want to save the money for a house. One of you has deep religious convictions, but the other doesn’t. Disagreeing on important life values can put a wedge between couples and become the source of ongoing discord.

  • Loss of respect

Respect shows that each partner understands the other, and they respect one another’s boundaries. When one partner stops respecting the other, it reveals he or she no longer supports the other’s values and needs. Love alone can’t hold you together without mutual respect.

  • Little physical affection

Studies show physical affection is a sign of relationship satisfaction and a good predictor of love in the relationship. Relationships that suffer from a deficit of affection will grow lifeless over time. Non-sexual physical touch feeds emotional intimacy and is necessary for the health of your relationship.

  • Dishonesty and secrecy

Dishonesty and secrecy are key reasons couples and marriages end up failing. Being dishonest or secretive with your partner – even about trivial things – reveals you don’t feel safe sharing with your partner or you legitimately have something to hide. Either way, you undermine the trust and respect of your partner when you lie or withhold.

  • Jealousy and insecurity

When there’s consistent jealousy or insecure behavior by one partner, it could reflect a lack of self-esteem and confidence in your value in the relationship. Expressing insecure feelings and jealousy when there’s no valid reason will only push your partner away and lessen their respect for you. If there is a real reason for these feelings, you need to face the problems head on with your partner.

  • Sexually focused

If your relationship is primarily focused on sex, then you have no real foundation for a lasting connection. Without emotional intimacy, affection, strong communication, trust, and engagement, the relationship will ultimately collapse

  • Narcissistic or controlling behavior

A person with a narcissistic personality is self-centered, seeks constant attention, considers themselves better than others, and believes they’re entitled to special treatment. Controlling people desire to be in charge, prove themselves, and get their own way by controlling their environment and the people around them. Neither personality is conducive to authentic connection and intimacy.

  • Poor money skills or values

When one partner is financially irresponsible or has poor financial skills, it will eventually cause resentment, stress, and anger for the other partner. Money is a major source of conflict between couples even when both people are relatively responsible. When the financial relationship is unbalanced, it profoundly impacts respect and trust between the couple.

  • Competitive

Competition in a relationship is a rivalry for supremacy, and it can develop over children, money, career success, or friends. Sometimes the need to upstage your spouse or partner comes from insecurity. These power struggles can destroy a relationship because one person has to be the winner and one the loser.

  • Overly involved extended family

Parents, siblings, or other relatives who become too involved in a couple’s lives can drive a wedge between them. If one partner doesn’t set appropriate boundaries with his or her family, the other partner will grow resentful and feel like they are no longer the priority.

  • Threats of leaving

Does your partner constantly threaten to end the relationship or suggest divorce? This is a form of verbal abuse and emotional control, putting you on insecure footing as long as the behavior continues. You will never feel safe or valued as a partner.

  • Trying to change you

Some people view their partners as a project to fix. They want to change their spouse’s appearance, behavior, or personality in order to make themselves feel more secure and in control. This reflects a lack of respect and unconditional love.

Do you see some of these signs in your love relationship? If so, it’s time to assess whether or not the relationship is causing more distress than happiness.

Credit: Live Bold and Bloom

Signs of a Healthy Relationship:

  • Trust

Trust means more than keeping secrets and being faithful. When you trust your partner, you feel a sense of safety and security in the relationship. Trust allows both partners to reach high levels of intimacy and closeness. It also allows you to set boundaries and know they’ll be respected, according to Young Women’s Health.

  • Mutual Respect

Healthy relationships have two partners who respect each other for who they are. Respectful behaviors include considering your partner when you make decisions that affect the relationship, treating your partner with love and kindness and refraining from saying hurtful things during disagreements.

  • Healthy Communication

Healthy communication helps partners solve disagreements in a respectful manner, but it can also help prevent disagreements altogether, says the University of Texas at Austin’s Counseling and Mental Health Center. That’s because healthy communication helps convey your needs, wants, opinions and feelings to your partner in a calm, assertive and loving way.

  • Absence of Physical Violence

In healthy relationships, one partner never puts his or her hands on the other partner in a violent or menacing way. If your partner uses physical violence, no matter how sorry he or she is afterward, that’s not the partner for you. Abusive partners act from a need to control and dominate, not from a respectful place of equal power.

  • Absence of Mental or Emotional Violence

Physical violence isn’t the only type of relationship violence, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). If you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner should never call you names, intimidate you, control you or force you to perform sexual acts. These are types of mental, emotional and sexual abuse.

  • Independence

Your relationship with your partner shouldn’t be the only significant relationship in your life, according to the CDC. Healthy individuals have their own friends, family members, interests and opinions outside the relationship.

  • Common Interests

No two people have everything in common, but people in healthy relationships have an overall respect for each other’s interests and hobbies. Even when they participate in activities they’re not interested in, they enjoy spending time together.

  • Equal Power

Healthy relationships are an equal 50/50 split. No one partner is the boss. Both partners discuss family decisions and have equal say. This means both partners have input in everything from picking the Friday night movie to making the family budget.

  • Similar Goals

Even though new relationships don’t need to focus on long-term goals, more serious relationships can suffer when both partners aren’t on the same page. When one partner wants children, marriage or to live in a particular location and the other doesn’t, it can lead to resentments and unhappiness.

  • Support

Your partner may not like everything you do, but she should always support your choices. For example, she may miss spending time with you, but she will never discourage you from going to school or work. In a healthy relationship, your partner always has your back.

  • Healthy Sexuality

Both partners in a healthy relationship share similar sexual values. They feel safe enough to express their sexual desires and never worry that their partners will force them to do things they’re uncomfortable with. Healthy sexuality also includes agreeing on methods of contraception and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases.

  • Happiness

Even if your relationship is absent of unhealthy relationship characteristics, it doesn’t mean it’s right for you. At the end of the day, you have to feel happy about your decision to be with your partner. All couples have their rough patches, but overall, your relationship should make you happy more than often than not.

Credit: Living Strong

rp  logo final1826611831..jpg

30 Years of Life

If I could tell my younger self one thing it would be “sweetheart, you have nothing to fear.”

The thought of turning 30 was like the plague to me, dooms day. Okay, perhaps I am exaggerating (a little). Seriously though, it was a big deal for me. I was feeling prematurely old. My life had been leaded by expectations, greater demands, and high standards. I had it imprinted in my brain that at a specific age, I HAD to be married with children, I HAD to be advanced in my career, and I HAD to purchase my first home. Life demands seemed to be always increasing, and more responsibilities where always being thrown my way, which was creating a stressful atmosphere. When things didn’t go as planned, I felt so let down. I felt like a failure. I wasn’t happy with what I had, or where I was in my life. If I am being honest with myself, I was ungrateful, and I had a hard time seeing the positive in anything that was happening in and around my life. I see life through a much different lens now. I am so thankful for whatever life has brought my way, and what will continue to come my way.

The reality is, life will never go exactly as planned, it never will, ever, and that is perfectly okay. Life is not completely linear. This is why it is so important to be flexible, and simply just go with the flow. Change is really a beautiful thing, not something to be fearful of. Change brings on new challenges, opportunities, and life experiences. It is something that should be embraced.

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” —Henri Bergson

Self-discovering, a topic I will leave for another discussion, is how I discovered to truly love myself. Everything after that just started to fall into place.

What I am trying to say is age is really just a number, you only as old as you feel, and whatever you put into life, you will get from it.

Basic Life Lessons:

Challenge yourself, Take Risks, Chose happiness, Have Fun, Laugh always, Smile often.

Rachel Page xo

And so it Begins

Seems like just yesterday I turned 30. That was 9 days ago.

Eventually I will write about how TERRIFIED I was to turn 30.

My life vision was based on expectations, and when things didn’t go as planned..
I felt so let down.

Throwing the expectations out the window was the best thing I could have done.

Life is really about going with the flow.

I will write alllllll about how important this little fact is…. later!

First I need to get my creative juices flowing…

Ciao for now xo

post